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When the story surfaced that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it brought addiction back into the national conversation. However, parents affected by a child’s substance use are concerned the dialogue will focus on an extremely uncommon act of homicide rather than the far more common risks of the disease.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the news. They only knew the Reiners professionally, yet they identify deeply: their own son also became addicted at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son achieved sobriety in July 2010.

“It’s just devastating,” says Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose sons or daughters succumbed to the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s dependency, housing instability from addiction, or an overdose leading to medical care or loss, according to recent data.

Approximately one in six Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anybody, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how influential you are,” stated Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a family disease,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become dangerous at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant stigma surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “perception of someone being really a threat and the potential for causing violence.”

She also advised against jumping to conclusions about the reported involvement of the son or his state at the time, noting it is not known whether substance use or mental health issues were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their stigmatization of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may lead to agitation, a violent crime like a double homicide is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything even approaching to aggression. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not directed at their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “horribly painful” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get a phone call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was never coming home,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the ER saying a son was not breathing; from jail, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

The Loneliness of the Struggle

Parents often battle loneliness—questioning whether the addiction was caused by some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without experiencing it personally, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

Hope and Recovery

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are can become sober.

“Just as you can recover from any other type of illness, you can overcome this disease, too. You can heal and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you fail, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a college degree, and works as a skilled tradesperson. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always extended, because you never know when they’ll reach out and take it.”